I thought I would have more time to write. After all I haven’t even written about my family.
Cancer can be a lonely journey. I’ve been blessed to have my wife, my rock and my soulmate accompany me all the way. She had been my calm and my comfort and my inspiration to be a better human being. Our love and friendship may have changed in the 16 years we have been together but I’ll never forget the first time I laid my eyes on her. I’m glad she’s who she is.
I also have two lovely daughters who never fail to cheer me up. Georgia is happily growing up. She does a very cute hand sign for ‘birdie’. I enjoy my quiet moments with her when I wear her to sleep most mornings. Hannah is my best 6 year old friend. She’s beginning to understand that this cancer is not good for my health. We have talked to her about it. Last week, during bedtime, she saw a star and said she made a wish. I asked her what wish she made and she replied that it won’t come true if she tells anyone. I suppose she got a bit excited and changed her mind soon after. She said it’s actually alright to tell your family members. It will still come true.
“I wished for a princess crown!”
I almost rolled my eyes. Princess again, I thought. Then she elaborated “and when I wear this crown I can make your cancer go away.” I held back my tears and gave her a hug.
They are so much a part of me. I could write a book about these three ladies. I love them so much.
I have only one more day to my surgery and I want to spend all my time before the surgery with them three. So I will not be writing anymore until I’m ready again.
Things will be different after the surgery so I would like to update my family and friends so no one gets a shock and so I don’t have to answer so many questions.
The biggest change would be that I am most likely going to have my right eye removed. Ah, my right eye that has helped me take so many photos and capture so many memories. As hard as it is to let it go, the circumstance is that removing it will reduce the chance of recurrence. To my clients, don’t worry my left eye has already its training. A fellow photographer and good friend told me that maybe I’ll start finding different angles. Liling says maybe I’ll start to really see things clearer after that, spiritually speaking. It was a hard decision to make. Time to shop for eye patch. Hannah is excited about my pirate look.
Surgery will be this Friday. It will be a major one stretching over 12 hours, involving possibly four surgeons. I imagine the recovery period would be trying, especially the first week. Hopefully I’ll be home with my family again after two weeks.
I won’t be replying much to FB or WhatsApp. If you leave a message, rest assured I’ll read it. If I don’t reply please don’t take offense.
If you’re sending over prayers and good thoughts and energy, would you need my address? Kidding. My heart is open to all your prayers and kind thoughts. I appreciate it and am truly touched by family and friends who have reached out. Thank you.
Am I ready for the surgery? Can anybody ever truly be ready for such a surgery? I’m not sure. I’ll prepare myself mentally, spiritually and physically to go through it and let the universe do its work.
Remember, this is only the interlude.
I’ll be back.